'The Lord is risen'

Being on sabbatical this is the first time in nearly 30 years that I haven't preached on Easter Day. Instead I've had the unexpected luxury of simply being able to reflect on the Passion and Resurrection for myself. I crept into St John's for the 8 o'clock communion, trying to remain incognito, and the account of the resurrection from John's gospel was read. I've never really connected with Mary's tears at finding the tomb empty. Rather I've felt like Peter and John who look inside, see what has happened, believe and then go home. Perhaps it's a 'man thing' - it's like my idea of a good shopping trip: know what you want, find it straight away, buy it and go home.

But there have been tears this Easter...in Pakistan where scores of people were brutally murdered by Taliban terrorists targeting Christians. Just as Mary went to the tomb expecting to find Jesus but didn't, so many families in Lahore, Christian and others, went out to that park expecting to have a good time, but instead met with tragedy.

We should pray for Pakistan: first, that the government will take the security of ALL its people seriously and ensure the safety of the Christian community which has been the target of so many attacks from Islamic extremists; and secondly that through their tears our Christian brothers and sisters will again encounter the risen Lord Jesus as Mary Magdalene did.

Tom Wright comments on Mary's mistaking Jesus for the gardener; in a way this was not a mistake because Jesus appears as one who is the Lord of new life, the Lord of a new garden and new growth.

Wright is so eloquent, I can't resist quoting him at length:

Ask people around the world what they think is the biggest day of the year for Christians. Most will say 'Christmas'. That's what our society has achieved: a romantic mid-winter festival...from which most of the things that really matter (the danger, the politics) are carefully excluded. The true answer - and I wish the churches would find ways of making this clear - is Easter. This is the moment of new creation. If it hadn't been for Easter, nobody would ever have dreamed of celebrating Christmas. This is the first day of God's new week. The darkness has gone, and the sun is shining.

'Whom shall I fear?'

I was shocked to read the news this morning of bombs at the airport and metro station in Brussels. The real threat of terrorist attacks is very near home and it could easily make us fearful. I'm sure the people of Brussels must by anxious at this time, especially following the events in that city before Christmas. Today's psalm for Morning Prayer opens with the words 

The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?

I need to be constantly reminded of this. That whatever is happening that in some way affects me, I can find an inner peace and security that helps me carry on. It may not change the circumstances, but it helps me face them - and perhaps then to make a difference to those circumstances, rather than simply giving in to them.
We must continue to pray that what appears to be a 'Messianic' brand of extreme Islam followed by those who apparently have no fear of death is defeated. I believe the only way ultimately is through prayer. St Paul wrote: 

Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Paul was very clear that the way to counter evil spiritual forces was not with the weapons of the world:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

This is something that governments have little or no idea about as they see only the power struggles being played out on the ground. As Christians we need to be aware that there is a power struggle going on in the spiritual realm. This isn't fantasy or paranoia, but a sober recognition of why things are as they are.So what can we pray? Very simply, the line from the Lord's Prayer: Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven. Pray for God's kingdom of peace, justice and joy to come in Syria, in Europe, wherever people are suffering unjustly. And to encourage us we only need to remember that next Sunday we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. When it seemed that people had done their worst to Jesus, God knew better and raised him from the dead. 

Don't neglect to meet together

Being on sabbatical since the end of January has made me feel rather detached from the church. It's been strange on a Sunday to have to decide what to do - where to worship, or indeed whether to worship with God's people. I've visited several churches in the area during these last weeks and it's been instructive to be in the place of a first-time visitor. I can appreciate the awkwardness that is felt when visiting a church for the first time, and so the type of welcome you receive really makes a difference. There is an art to welcoming people - getting the balance between warm friendliness and overpowering smothering. The best form of welcome I reckon is to be introduced to someone else in the congregation, and then you can find out why they are there and what they like about the church. I would say that welcome and friendship far outweigh the style of worship when deciding whether or not to visit a church for a second time. 

It's hard work maintaining your faith on your own. Like the single coal being taken out of the fire, you can quickly cool off. So if you are reading this and wondering whether or not to join with God's people in worship next Sunday, decide that you will. Let the warmth of their faith help to keep your own faith alive.

'The winter is over'

Entering the hall

Every two years the Harrogate Conference Centre is the meeting place for church leaders connected through the New Wine movement. This week I was up there with colleagues from St John's, others from our local New Wine leaders' network and about 1700 others. There is the same sense of anticipation that we are going to meet with God in a significant way as I imagine the pilgrims that went up to the Temple in Jerusalem must have had. The design of the Centre is both imaginative and functional as staircases have been replaced with a helix-like walkway - imagine a carpeted helter-skelter. As you circle round getting higher and higher there is a sense of progressing to some greater degree of glory.

The speakers brought us encouragement and challenge. Encouragement by hearing what God can do and is doing round the world; challenge particularly in the area of the inner and hidden life of the leader. 'Consecration' was a word used several times in relation to the leader's life: make sure, as leaders, that our personal lives are in the right place with God so that our public lives are lived with integrity. It was a message of particular poignancy following the news that the Chair of the New Wine Trustees, Mark Bailey, has had to stand down due to a clergy disciplinary matter being considered by the Bishop of Gloucester. John Coles spoke eloquently and with grace about what happens when a 'bomb' like that drops on the church.

We were encouraged by Nicky Gumbel with the story of Abraham who is described in the bible being 'as good as dead', yet trusted God for the promise of a son - Isaac. Many say today that the church is 'as good as dead' but Nicky encouraged us to believe like Abraham that it's never too late to dream dreams, and that the church will not die.

Justin Welby: 'The winter is over'.

Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury, encouraged us with the words: "The winter is over; spring is coming." From his extensive travels in the UK and round the world he is optimistic about the troubled and uncertain times in which we live. It's a time of 'rough seas with windy weather', but, as a keen sailor, Archbishop Justin felt that this is the ideal context for the church to proclaim the only real certainty of Jesus Christ. As God's people we are forgiven and loved, we are called to be faithful, we are called to be holy (consecrated).

Brother Edward, his church in Damascus

We were profoundly moved by Brother Edward who leads a church in Damascus. The ambassadors are leaving Syria, he told us, but 'God's ambassadors' (i.e. the church) are remaining. We were moved by Br Edward's steadfastness in the face of so much evil, hatred and darkness that has swept through Syria. He spoke about the number of his church members who had been killed by bombs or abducted by terrorists almost as we might complain about something as routine as getting stuck in a traffic jam. It's impossible to comprehend the terrible situation that he and others minister in, but with the help of Open Doors he continues to minister to hurting and traumatised people who have lost members of their family to terrorist violence, children who have lost limbs because of bombs, families whose house have been ransacked or blown up by ISIS. Most poignant of all were pictures drawn by children expressing how they felt about the situation, but also expressing the hope that those who are now enemies might one day play football together. In a moment that just felt right - no pressure or manipulation - we had an opportunity not just to pray but to give financially, and from 1700 people the amazingly generous amount of £107,000 was collected to go to Open Doors. For £70 one family can be fed and housed for month. That is what I spent on petrol travelling to and from Harrogate.

A child's expression of the evil in Syria: his father abducted, houses bombed, yet hope that enemies will one day play football together

Mark Batterson from National Community Church in Washington DC also spoke about the need to consecrate ourselves as leaders, as did Kate Coleman who gave Moses as as an example of the inner life of the leader. Charlotte Gambill used the example of Elijah - tired and worn out, asleep under a tree ready to give up. God told him simply to eat something. "Where are we feeding?" was the question; how are we feeding our inner life as leaders so we can lead others, and how are we looking to 'cast our mantle' over the next generation of leaders? I am now asking the Lord to give me the names of the those in the church who might be potential new leaders in his church.

The times of worship at New Wine events are intense - even physically tiring! Personally I find the songs are pitched awkwardly to sing, but through music and song the intention is to build a meeting place - a temple - where God can meet with his people through his Spirit.

I enjoy these New Wine events as an opportunity to catch up with people who I've trained with, worked with and grown up with over the years. John Hughes, who as the curate of St Stephen's East Twickenham, is one of those 'saints' to whom I owe such a debt of gratitude in my journey of faith. Now he's retired, but still active. It was lovely to remind each other of what God has done over the last 40 years.

As if to illustrate the Archbishop's words the ground was covered in snow on Wednesday morning, but by the time we left on Thursday there was a warmer wind blowing. I came away with a renewed love for God and for his church.

The motto of New Wine is 'Local Churches Changing Nations'. I pray that we will make a difference in Old Coulsdon - that we will help God's kingdom to come in the lives of the people who live and work here, and in the time that I've got left I will be part of that work.

Seminars, Conferences and Visiting Friends

I'm glad I don't have to commute regularly to London, though when I do I enjoy walking down Borough High Street. During the day the get the delightfully exotic aromas of the coffee bars - in particular the Moroccan one halfway down. At night, it's like a seen from Dickens' London.

I was on a 2 day seminar on Transforming Conversations - about to shape conversations to be more purposeful and intentional. This is not to be used at the breakfast table, but when helping people to make decisions and move forward. It surprisingly hard work and tiring to listen carefully in order to reflect back and help people formulate their own decisions. Both days I was falling asleep by 9 pm. And we have 2 more days in May to finish the course. I hope it will help me help others process their own thoughts about the future when they need to.

Tomorrow I'm off to Harrogate for a 2 day New Wine leaders' conference. I believe two of the speakers will be Nicky Gumbel and Justin Welby, plus others from the Vineyard Church. I usually find something to challenge and encourage me at the conferences, though my capacity for long uninterrupted sung worship sessions seems to be diminishing.

In between I've visited two old friends in Leeds. John and I were in the church youth group together in the 1970s in Twickenham, and having this sabbatical has been a great time to catch with friends. It's good to see people who were on fire for God as teenagers still on fire today, and we were able to encourage one another. As an added bonus I was treated to the most fantastic sunset on the train from Leeds to London.

'Wait for the Lord'

Theseus and the Minotaur

We' were in Cyprus last week - our first visit - and I was amazed at the rich variety of landscape, culture and history of the country. The local people are friendly and welcoming, and I can quite see why so many British people choose to live there.

One of the sites we enjoyed was the archaeological parks of Paphos and Kourion. So many complete and almost complete mosaics have been discovered from the Hellenist and Roman periods. Some depict very human scenes of hunting or drinking, and many others scenes of heroes and gods with great ingenuity and beauty.

I'm afraid my knowledge of Greek mythology is rather limited, but the little I do know tells me that the gods were not at all interested in the affairs of ordinary mortals, and neither were the great writers such as Homer - preferring to compose epic poems about heroes such as Odysseus and Achilles.

In contrast stands the witness of the bible to the God who loves and cares for his people, even to the extent of living among them. Today's psalm set for the 2nd Sunday of Lent says, 'The Lord is my light and salvation; whom shall I fear?' Here is a promise of protection and guidance, not as a reward for heroic deeds or in response to oblations or libations, but simply out of covenant love. I don't think there is any idea in Greek mythology of a god making a covenant with humans, that would bind both parties equally. But the Lord, Yahweh, did just that with his people Israel, and renewed and extended that covenant to all people through Jesus.

The 'Earthquake House'

In the archaeological site at Kourion there is a house that was destroyed by an earthquake in the 4th century. It collapsed so quickly that many of the inhabitants were killed instantly, as at Pompei. Zeus or Apollo would have nothing to offer them.  As we wandered round the ancient buildings I tried to imagine the ordinary people who lived there 2000 or more years ago. They must have had concerns just like us - about family relationships, health and old age, work, and so on, and I wonder where they found consolation and help? In the bible the psalmist could write: 'The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit' (Psalm 34). That's where I find help in time of need.

Jesus, be the centre

Welsh sunset

Last week I was in North Wales at St Beuno's Spirituality Centre, with days spent in the weak Welsh sun. This week I'm in Cyprus where I'm typing this in the intense Mediterranean sun. Last week I experienced some magnificent sunsets, but here the sunrise is worth getting up early for. I don't think I've seen the sun actually rise above the sea's horizon, getting hidden for a moment by the clouds, and then come blazing out in all its glory. But it's the same sun that makes us screw up our eyes at its intensity in Cyprus as it is that brings a pale yellow glow glow to the green Welsh countryside.

The picture in the centre is of the labyrinth at St Beuno's. I didn't discover it until my last day, but, I'm glad it waited until the end, because my experience of it provided just the insight I needed to make the transition from a calm spiritual oasis to the distractions of Croydon. I was recommended by my spiritual director to walk the labyrinth from the centre outwards. The thing about a prayer labyrinth is that there is only one path, unlike a maze in which there are many false paths which you may or may not choose. The other difference is that the route of the labyrinth is plain to see whereas the maze is hidden by tall hedges. 

'Jesus, be the centre'

As I walked away from the centre I was aware of leaving something precious behind - my eight days spent listening to and talking with the Lord, knowing the love of God, the companionship of Jesus and the quiet prompting presence of the Spirit. It was with some regret that I began the journey, but after the first few metres the path took a sharp turn and, much to my surprise, I was back almost to where I had begun, looking straight at the centre again. Walking further on there were times when I turned away from the centre, and times when I turned towards it. Times when I thought I was getting nearer but ended up further away, and times when I thought I was about to leave the labyrinth but found myself walking towards the centre again. It may sound like a pious cliché but this describes my experience of life?

Cyprus sunrise

There is only one path - I only have one life - and sometimes I think I'm doing all the right things to make me feel closer to God, but I find myself feeling further away. But at other times there can be the unexpected moment of consolation when God is vividly present. It may be an inner warming of the heart, a sense of Jesus' companionship, or a moment of natural or artistic beauty that makes me catch my breath and say, "Thank you Lord for your grace." During the day I may find myself naturally turning towards the Lord and consciously seeing the 'centre', and others times I am preoccupied with daily chores and can't look at the centre.

But one more thing struck me - as I walked round the labyrinth I could see the centre nearly all the time out of the corner of my eye. I knew it was there and that I was never far from it. As I finally left the labyrinth I felt the Lord say to me that I would not be bringing a memory of my eight days' retreat back home, but the reality of the Lord's presence.

So it's the same SUN in Wales and in Cyprus though experienced quite differently. Jesus is the same SON whether experienced in the spiritual oasis of St Beuno's or the less obvious spirituality of Croydon. And for that I thank God!

I find the hardest thing about writing is making a start. For me it's to do with finding the form or pattern. How am I going to shape the idea that I've had? It's like the composer who may have many melodies in his or her head, but has to work out a form to contain them.

I've been reading through Paul's Letter to the Romans, alongside Tom Wright's commentaries. I keep connecting it with Jesus' parable of the prodigal son in which we see a father concerned for the salvation of his renegade son. Paul writes about the God who is concerned not only for his 'son' - Israel, but for the one who will become his adopted son - the Gentiles. I've often wondered, as many have, what happened to the father and his sons after the return of the prodigal? I imagine that the father had work for them both to do - working on his estate to make it prosper. Paul writes about God's plan not just for the salvation of individual people, but the redemption of the whole of creation - the cosmos. Israel's mission was to be a light to the Gentiles and bring the message of salvation to them, but Israel preferred to keep it to themselves.

So I toyed with the idea of using the parable of the prodigal son as a theme to which I would write variations based on Paul's letter. In musical terms this is not uncommon: Theme and Variations are a frequent form used by composers through the ages. The theme is stated, and then ideas are developed from it, but at the same time the integrity of its melodic or harmonic structure is maintained in each new variation. I went on to wonder if this had ever been tried in literature, and after a short search discovered a paper written on this very subject where the author discusses four novels all taking their inspiration from Bach's 'Goldberg Variations'. A series of some 30 highly structured by also highly imaginative variations based on a simple theme.

Now I have a structural idea with which to work. In fact it will be a Prelude, Theme and Variations and Finale. The Prelude describes the world created by God but polluted by sin - this corresponds to Romans 1 and 2. The Finale will concern God's ultimate plan for the salvation of Israel, all humanity and the cosmos. And the Theme and Variations will begin with Jesus' parable. Each variation will take as its starting point the phrase 'There was a man who had two sons...'

Paul himself writes in a variation form to some extent, often coming back to the same theme but from a different viewpoint, so I hope that in my own way I can do justice to his ideas, but also create something that will help people engage with these great motifs of creation spoiled and redeemed, Israel provoked by jealousy of God's grace to the Gentiles, the importance of family relationships and and calling God 'Abba' - Father.

This week I begin an 8 day retreat at St Beuno's near St Asaph in North Wales. I won't be blogging, posting on FB, tweeting, or communicating in any way. I think my very first blog in 2007 followed a similar retreat. It will be interesting to see if I have a similar experience of meeting with God through his word as I did then. I'll let you know.